Most people probably would have anticipated that my last post would make some people angry; some people concerned; some very uncomfortable.
Comments and questions from the angry people are:
“Why didn't your spirit guides mention me. Am I not important to you?”
“Many people suffering more than you are struggling to hold on to life and you are looking for an exit. You coward!”
People that are concerned are afraid that I'm suicidal.
People that are uncomfortable are uncomfortable for various reasons:
Some don't buy into my view of spirit life.
Some don't subscribe to my theology.
Some think I'm crazy and wonder what they should do to get help.
I'd like to address most of these concerns, starting at the bottom of the list, working up to the top.
My view of spirit life and God is really not uncommon. It falls probably into the category of New Age thinking. I do believe that I have an immortal spirit, that I've lived in previous lives, and that I will most likely die and comeback at some other time. I am not privy to the mechanics of all of this, so I won't try to explain any of it. My philosophy and theology falls somewhere in the category of Buddhism and Kaballism. I do believe in a singular Divine Being that is behind all we know, that It cares for each and every sentient being, is intimately involved with every sentient being, and while giving us all absolute freedom of will, has ultimate control in all things. Don't ask me to justify any of what I say. I simply can't, and don't feel it is with in my intellectual power to do so, and otherwise a waste of time to try to do such a thing.
I could be “crazy,” whatever that means. If that is true, I'm not the only one, and this insanity falls into the category of a harmless alternate reality protected by the U.S. Constitution under the religious freedoms amendments.
Am I suicidal? Absolutely not. My understanding of my existence in this dimension is that I am in a classroom. Suicide is very strongly frowned upon in the spiritual realms. Spirits are not sent to hell—there is no hell. However, souls in this dimension that take suicide as an out, do go through some form of retraining in the spirit realms. It is considered a spiritual setback of huge significance. I already have logged enough events of spiritual stupidity. I don't need anything of that magnitude to add to the amount of training and karma I have to workout in this life or future lives.
Even so, whatever I suffer in this dimension is designed to teach me, to stretch me, and to grow me spiritually. Growth does not come without some pain in this life, especially when one is as immature as I am as a spirit. I am sure I have created some of my own pain by my lack of wisdom. The degree to which I accept or reject this pain has much to do with my spiritual maturity. I have no problem in confessing that I am quite the dunce, and I make more fuss over the pain than would a more mature spirit. So, allow that I am a spirit in training, and I'm whining. Allow that I am also self-centered and much of the suffering I experience is designed to make me more aware of those around me that suffer. It is working.
Finally, in the process of this training, when my spirit guides feel they have to intervene, it is an indication that I have gone way off course. That confirms my suspicions that I am a very immature spirit. It confirms that I have a huge deficit in wisdom. However, the spirit guides have enough respect that they are choosing to intervene through an “adjustment meeting” rather than taking me out of this life entirely. They are confident, perhaps, that if they just give me a hint, I am smart enough to make the necessary adjustments in this life to continue growing spiritually.
The meeting I described, I believe, was designed to give me a hint. The outcome of that meeting was that I did spend considerable time and energy re-evaluating my attitudes, and found it necessary to make some adjustments to those attitudes in light of a revelation that I do have some specific purposes or missions in this life. It was totally unnecessary for my guides to review every relationship I have in this life. All the needed to do is point at one very contemporary relationship and let me evaluate my own behaviors, attitudes, and actions in that relationship, because all that has gone on in that relationship has gone on in every other relationship. If I can figure out what is needed in the most immediate situation, I can make the same adjustment in all other relationships.
As far as asking to be removed from all of this pain when others are suffering more: I have to tell you, that is part of the shamefully selfish person I am. At the same time I whine about my discomfort, I understand even more about how others suffer more. And believe me, that is going a long way to developing a great deal of compassion. Perhaps, someday as I mature, my whining will be changed to acts of compassion. That is my hope, but ultimately, the timing of my transition out of this dimension is entirely at the discretion of my spirit guides.